So this song pretty much sums up the feelings about what I rant about in this blog, so much so it's quite scary.
Pretty good day (:
Got up early for once...9.30am! Had to get up to pay some garden person. Then I had a shower, and settled down to watch the Eastenders omnibus :D And then about 1ish I was bored, so text Becky and we went into town. We literally just spent hours just sat on various benches/walls and saw various people along the way. Then, of course, we saw Azz about 50 fucking times. He walked past us and said something to me, but I ignored him like the mature person I am....haha. Then we went into Sainsburys to buy STRAWBERRY LACES, and he was in there again with his girlfriend 8-) I'm sure he purposefully frustrates me. And I know he'll probably be there on Wednesday night, and I really don't want it to bother me, but I know it's going to. It shouldn't, because I know that nothing's gonna happen again, so I should just get over it. And I really don't know if I am over it, but even if I am, I don't know if I'm ready to forgive him yet :S it's not even as if he did anything really bad, he just really, really hurt me, and I genuinely don't think he understands that. Or he does understand, and doesn't give a shit. I still don't fully understand what happened there. I don't really know what we were :S I mean we weren't going out or anything, but everyone assumed we were seeing each other, and he gave that impression as well, and then Cat came along :S I dunno, maybe I'm just making a big deal out of nothing but I just hate being played, and strung along like he did with me!
So yeah, I just know that on Wednesday, if it happens and isn't raining, I'll be drunk and so I'll end up saying something I'll 'regret.' Although I really can't guarentee that I'll honestly regret it. And if he's there, his girlfriend will be, considering they're joined at the fucking hip these days. But yeah, I dunno. I'd like to be friends with him again, but I don't know if I can. Cus although everyone warned me against going for it, when I was with him he was really sweet and stuff so I'm not sure if I can handle being friends. Which is gay, because I quite like his general group of friends, even if they are all massive goths :P aha. Meh I really dunno what to dooooo. I guess I'll just have to see on Wednesday. I suppose if worst comes to worst, I'll just avoid him. Which is kinda difficult cus he see him all the bloody time, but whatever.
Sorry for boring you all with that rant, I realise now it probably sounds pretty pathetic!
Anywaaay. Although it doesn't sound like it, I AM looking forward to Wednesday. It's been waaay too long since I've seen all the old campout lot, i've missed them rather a lot :( and tomorrow night I think I'm going out with Maz and Jay which should be goooooood to have a catch up with them in person before Wednesday. God, I love those two :L
See, that's another thing that's weird! I'd class Jay as one of my closest guy friends right now, when like, 6 months ago I was head over heels for him, and he was a proper wanker! But now I do love him, and he's going out with another close friend of mine and it's like awwwwww :D and the same with Maz, he asked me out a few months ago and we both probably thought it'd be awkward, but it isn't. He's deffo one of my closest friends, I can talk to him about ANYTHING. Whether he likes it or not is a different matter :P
So yeah, tomorrow Jenna's coming round to watch Superbad and cook some form of food, and then we're going out and then I'm meeting Jay and Maz. Should be a good day (: I just hope I don't run into Azz again in town!
Current Mood: 
meh
Current Music: Harder Than You Know - Escape The Fate
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
tired
good
rubbish
